Round Is Beautiful

– where fat is fantastic, curves are cute and rolls are really sexy

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You’ve come to a site that’s quite atypical. Here you can’t read about how to lose weight, nor can you find a single derogatory word about fat people. Au contraire! You’ll find pictures (modest, like the old paintings, no porn here!) of chubby, plump or even quite fat people here, and all they get is nice words and praise. You can even find advice on how to *gasp* gain weight, the cake and food recipes being very fattening, and you’ll find you’ll find both true and fictional stories from or about fat people that enjoy getting fat or want themselves or their partners to be so. The heroes and heroines here are or will end up being fat.

If you’re curious, welcome, make yourself at home. If you’re already now feeling disgust or thinking ill of this, I’d recommend that you leave this site now, because your feelings will probably only grow stronger the more you read.

This site has a sister site in Danish, . They’re not identical but they have a lot in common.

Round is Beautiful

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The slimness religion

Slankheden som religion

Recently it struck me how scarily much the whole health business has in common with religion – and especially with catholicism in the 15th and 16th century. Let me explain:

  • Both are about obtaining a kind of salvation or eternal life.
  • Both have loyal or even fanatic disciples who happily wander around preaching the holy word – often without  caring about if it’s an appropriate time and place to do it.
  • Both have Holy Scriptures that they refer to as arguments for their belief – scriptures that often are, if not incorrect, then historically or scientifically unsupported.
  • Both operate with a sin concept and have commandments that have to be followed in order to avoid forfeiture.
  • Practitioners of both see non-practitioners as either lost, sinful, abominations or as targets for conversion attempts.
  • Within both emerges sects that through variatons or distortions of the main message claim to have found the Truth (Raw food, Atkins, Blood type diet, Dukan, LCHF etc.)
  • People who dare questioning the established way of believing will be accused of heresy.
  • You can buy indulgences that will bring yourself or your relatives out of the purgatory. Memberhip of fitness centres, self help books, plasters, pills of questionable origin, apple cider vinegar – lose 10lbs in 3 weeks, and all the other miracle cures, and much, much more.
  • Saint Worshipping (Jane Fonda, Atkins, Pierre Dukan, there are dozens, maybe hundreds out there!)
  • Pilgrimage (travels to rehabs, weight loss camps or schools and many more places)
  • Exorcism (Think of all those weight loss tv shows where you see fat people throwing all their “sinful” food in the garbage bin or being humiliated for running camera.

…just to mention some of the similarities.

And what’s the purpose of this comparison? Among other things, to point out some of what worried Luther about the Catholic Church back then. He said that people had become so obsessed with salvaging themselves that it completely led their focus away from praticing the charity that is so central for Christianity.

Now I see this happening again. People spend so much time worrying about their weight, their health, their food, exercises etc. and they have a tendency to forget all the things that are so much more essential to the good life: To be there for each other and to contribute to making the lives of each other a little happier.

You can rightfully ask if the longest possible life is the best possible life. I definitely am a fan of a good health, but not at any cost.

My own hypothesis about this is that here in the Western World we’ve become less religious on average. We don’t – seen on average – take our beliefs as seriously as we once did. Many Christians are Christians when it’s convenient for them and the same applies to muslims and people from other religions as well. Nonetheless we humans have an urge to believe in something. You could say that we have a kind of religious “hole” that has until now been filled up with the religion we have, depending on what belief you have. Now, when the religions have started fading for some people, the hole has to be filled with something else. Apparently, the choice fell on health.

If this hypothesis should be plausible, it would mean that people with a stronger religious belief were less prone to aim for slimness because the room in their religious “hole” is already filled up with something else. The fantastic thing is that while I was writing this blog post I found exactly that: A study has found that that’s actually what seems to happen. Here you go:

This isn’t the final proof that I’m right, but the article about the study says much the same thing as I’m doing here, and that’s an indirect proof that the health business isn’t really as much about health anymore as it’s about religion.

This makes it extremely important to know your facts in the health debate and to not believe what people tell you until it’s confirmed from several independent sources. In religious discussions arguments are not necessarily based on scientific evidence and a will to see things from more than one perspective. It’s no longer about reaching an agreement and searching for the truth. It’s about being firm in your belief and letting nothing shake you. This should lead you to expect that from now on, people’s ability to have a relaxed relation with their own body will only go one way: downwards. The last thing the health debate needed was to become relgious.

And where does this put us who think that there’s not much fun about slim bodies and who actually find the rounder, softer look more attractive? Us who think that fat can be both beautiful and sexy. Us who take two or three pieces of cake instead of one and find pleasure in seeing others doing the same? Well, seen from a health-religious perspective we must be heretics or even worse – the equals of satanists. We’re not just heathens or idolators, because we know about the dogms of the health religion and are conscious about our choice not to follow them. For us exist no salvation. We’re doomed to eternal forfeiture…

…or we might, like Luther who went against what millions of “Orthodoxes” meant  about right and wrong, be onto somthing important – the problem that people spend so unbelieavably many ressources on self-salvation and the “eternal life” that they waste exactly this, Life, in their pursuit of it.

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Feedee? What, Who, Where and Why?

The word “feedee” is occurring in the media now and then and only very rarely it’s mentioned in connection with anything good. So let’s have a look at what and who a feedee actually is instead of just letting do with the picture we’re getting from the media – which, to put it mildly, lacks a few nuances.


What is a feedee?

The short description of a feedee is a man or a woman who is feeling turned on by or at least likes very much to eat and typically being fed, too – and often, but not always, the more, the merrier.

Often, but not always, they are as well feeling a (sexual) satisfaction and/or excitement by watching their bodies grow as a result of all the food they’re eating.

There exist a couple of closely related terms: Foodees and gainers that I’ll explain in another article, but put in short they’re simply, in that order, people who enjoy food so much that they don’t care much about their weight, and people who enjoy or are turned on by watching their bodies grow. Some would say that the latter could be called a variant of megarexia (google it), which in some cases might be true.

Who, how and why feedee?

Well, technically seen, everyone who likes it can be a feedee, but let’s have a closer look. Feedees can roughly be separated into three groups:

  1. Those who are simply born feedees – who don’t remember any time in their lives where they weren’t fascinated by food and fat. Often, the born feedees stuff pillows under their clothes as kids and imagine being fat while admiring themselves in the mirror. They’re typically fascinated by the fat aunt or uncle in the family, looking up to them and admiring them. This group of feedees is surprisingly big: People who simply can’t give any other explanation than “I simply am feeling that way, and I don’t remember it ever being different.
  2. Those who because of certain circumstances in their lives become feedees. This group is so wide and endlessly varied that it’s really hard to describe it but I’ll try to describe some of the subcategories:
    1. Food deprivation in childhood: People who in their childhood have had parents or other close relatives who had a very strained relationship with food, either by having eating disorders themselves or a morbid fear that their child would grow too fat, hence denying it many kinds of food – which then later in the life of the child might backfire.
    2. Being surrounded with food in childhood: Or the opposite: Children of parents who are afraid of their child becoming too skinny and who therefore are very focused on giving it enough food. It can also be children of parents with food related jobs who therefore spent their childhood surrounded by food (e.g. the child of a baker).
    3. Children of feeders and feedees: Children of parents who have a feeder/feedee relationship and who have seen that they enjoyed their relationship – and who therefore want a relationship like that themselves.
    4. The abandoned and abused ones: It can be people who in their childhood have experienced abandon or even abuse.
    5. The manipulated and brainwashed ones: Then finally, for the sake of truth, there’s a very little group – which sadly is the darling of the media: People who by their partner or even their own parents have been manipulated/brainwashed or even threatened into being feedees, and who therefore haven’t really had any choice at all. Luckily, they’re very very rare in the real world, but because they’re the ones who have the best sensation value, those are the ones who are being used to paint the picture of feedees and feeder/feedee relationships.
  3. Those who just suddenly realize they want to be feedees. Also here, there can be many different preludes to finally becoming a feedee.
    1. Accidental weight gain: Some of the stories that repeatedly occur are about persons who have kept their weight but suddenly gain weight on a holiday or due to a broken leg that has to be kept fixed, and against all expectations, they actually like what they see in the mirror. Other frequent explanations are those who gain the Freshman Fifteen and like it a lot, or women who get pregnant and love to see their bellies grow. Curiously enough, the thought about becoming a feedee can in some cases be triggered by getting negative attention because of a weight gain. The feeling of being ashamed of the weight gain can, paradoxically, be the driving force in some to want to gain more weight.
    2. Meeting a feeder: It can be the person who gets a partner and discovers that the partner is a feeder, tries to play along to please him/her and suddenly discovers that it’s turning them on as much as it does their partner.
    3. Being tired of the slim beauty ideals: A quite large group is people who suddenly grow sick and tired of the beauty ideals of the Western World and want to completely disapprove of them, not only in words but in action and appearance as well.
    4. Stumbling upon the feeder/feedee culture: It can be people who by some coincidence see a tv show or a documentary about feeders and feedees and get fascinated, or they can by accident stumble upon content on the internet about feedees or fat people in general – feeling strangely fascinated by them and for some reason keeping returning to specific pictures or videos. They start looking for similar content elsewhere on the net – eventually deciding that they want to be like that themselves, too.
    5. Recommendation from a friend: Last but not least it happens that people are recommended to check out some feeder/feedee sites on the net, typically by a friend who for some reason knows about the culture.

Then there are those who don’t really fall into these categories. For every feedee there is, there’s a very interesting (or in some cases very sad, but nevertheless always interesting) story to tell. The feedee group is, as said, almost infinitely varied, and even if I tried to make more categories, I’d probably have overseen somebody.

You can’t just say that  everyone can be feedees, because you’ll probably need a kind of predisposition from either social relations, your genes or your upbringing to make it likely to happen. It’s not possible to make it more precise than that. But one thing can be said for sure: It can happen whenever and wherever in your life. People exist who have felt repelled by the thought of fat or feederism in their younger years and then, suddenly in their fifties they start finding it attractive.

It should be clear now that feedees can be any kind of people. The media like to make the feedees look like victims; poor humans who have been suppressed or manipulated, or like losers who can’t handle their eating disorders and/or own lack of self control, but the actual picture is far, far more nuanced and interesting.

Feedees where?feeder feedee fordeling

Seemingly, feedees can be found everywhere, but in some places it’s more accepted to be open about it than in others. It’s hard to say whether the occurrence is evenly distributed all over the planet or if there exist places where it’s easier to find feedees. It’s almost only in english that a word for being a feedee exists, and therefore in other countries they have to either use this word for it or invent their own. So far it seems like the word feedee is winning out, but in all other countries than the english speaking ones it takes a good time to even just be aware that the word exists.

As long as you can’t put a name on something, it can be hard to talk openly about it, or at all to find out if there are others like yourself. And even if you know the word, there can be quite a few hurdles on the long road to self-discovery, among other things the fact that the society is looking so much down upon fat people that you don’t even dare thinking about whether you might be a feedee.

Probably there exist quite a few more feedees than you should believe, given the number of members on the various fat friendly sites, because many won’t even be aware that they belong there. They’ll just be feeling strange, weird, wrong and different from others because they, opposite to the majority, have a wish to eat much and gain weight, or because they feel a strange longing every time they see others eat much and/or gain weight.

If you look at the sites where there are feeders and feedees and look at the distribution of feedees, calculated in number per inhabitant, the US, Great Britain and Canada share a first place. After that comes Scandinavia and Australia with around ½-⅕ of what they have in the first place, and thirdly all the other European countries come with around ⅕-1/10 of the occurrence rate of the US, GB and Canada. Almost all other countries in the world are represented but with even lower occurrence.

Again, it seems to depend on the language and/or the wealth of the country. The ranking has some of the richest countries placed in the top and that is in itself interesting. It can both mean a connection with wealth and with the fact that the more wealthy the country is, the bigger the chance is that you learned English in school. The Scandinavians are both rich and among the best non-native English speakers on average. After them comes the rest of Europe, and then comes the rest of the world, both measured in wealth and in English skills.

You can’t say that you’re a feedee if you don’t know that there exist something called a feedee, but but this is hinting that also the wealth in itself might have an influence on your likeliness to end up being a fedee.

What thoughts and fantasies do you have as a feedee?

You can’t say that feedees are predictable besides their common interest in and fascination with food and fat and with often being or becoming heavier than average. Feedees are as different as all other people but yet there are actually a few ways of thinking that seem to be common for feedees. In the following I’ll mention the most common thoughts and fantasies I’ve met during my more than 10 years of chat conversations with feedees from all over the world. I’ve tried to illustrate as many of the thoughts as possible to give a more clear impression of them, and further more I’ve tried to rank them so that the first thoughts are the most commonly occurring and the last ones are less frequent.

  1. Being able to eat a lot. Feedees often fantasize about being able to eat a lot of food, and the feeling of being very full, even for some painfully full, is nice or even directly arousing.
  2. Being fed. Goddess_Amatrix_by_SatsurouAre you a feedee, there’s a good chance that you like the thought of getting the food served – and maybe that your partner took the fork/spoon and started feeding you so you just had to open up and enjoy.
  3. Inflating, ballooning and/or blowing up – very closely related to the first thought that was about being able to eat a lot. Not all feedees want to gain, but many, if not most, play with the thought of becoming very fat or inflating, either evenly all over their bodies or more locally, e.g. on belly, behind or breasts (this is or can be a fetish in its own right: Expansion or inflation fetish). Many feedees feel inspired by Violet Beauregard from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, who balloons to a huge, round blueberry.
  4. Being lazy. Many feedees find the thought of being lazy very attractive and dream or fantasize about having a partner who wants to do everything for them so they can spend more time on relaxing and eating. Again it’s not every feedee who feels this way but it’s common. Some feedees wish to be active and just do things the way they’re used to, but just with a bigger body.
  5. Outgrowing or wearing too small clothes. Many feedees enjoy seeing their clothes growing too small as they gain, and some just like to wear very tight or too small clothes that emphasize their size. Clothes and seams ripping, buttons popping off because of a big belly or a large chest is a beautiful sight and feeling for many feedees.
  6. Touching and admiring fat and fat rolls on own or others’ bodies.mirror Feedees often feel inspired by the sight of other people who weigh a lot and wish to be like that themselves, too. They often like to touch and feel their bodies growing. It’s satisfying for them to be able to grab their fat rolls and maybe jiggle them a little so they can see them bounce and, well, jiggle.
  7. Losing or giving up control. This is not one thought but a row of closely related thoughts and fantasies where most feedees will recognize at least a few.
    1. Being fed and fattened against your will. Many feel part scared, part excited and aroused by the thought of being held captured or prisoned and then forced to eat and eat so they grow fatter. The sneaky variant is popular, too: The partner secretly putting extra food on your plate or extra fat in the food during cooking so you end up gaining and don’t realize it before it’s hard for you to lose it again.
    2. Someone else taking control –feeding that someone else, often your partner takes over the cooking and starts making you eat more and more, either through temptations, encouraging, manipulation, hypnosis, extra fattening foods, mild force or a combination of these.
    3. Becoming so hungry/greedy that you can’t stop eating and gaining. Many feel excited and even turned on by the fantasy about growing so fond of and addicted to food that you simply can’t control your eating habits anymore and just eat and gain more and more.
    4. Being (fattened like) a pig or cow (Pig is most common).Many feedees have these fantasies and in all degrees. Closely related to the thought of giving up all control and responsibility. Many feedees have in their childhood seen the cartoon Pigs are Pigs and felt strangely fascinated by it.
    5. Being tube fed. The thought of getting a tube into your mouth or even down your throat and then being fed directly through it so you lose control over how much you’re eating or drinking. This often goes hand in hand with inflation thoughts and thoughts about someone else taking control.
    6. Getting stuck. To some it’s a turn on to play with the thought of getting too fat for fitting inside certain openings like doorways or seats.
    7. Getting so fat that you become immobile. The ultimate loss of control is being too heavy to be able to move around on your own. Some feedees like playing with this thought, but far from all of them.
    8. Being fattened as a part of a punishment. The punishment is typically for having made fun of fat people or having been snobbish or having a bad personality in general.
  8. Being humiliated or punished for being fat and greedy: Hand in hand with the abovementioned goes the thought about being humiliated or punished for being fat and greedy (also sometimes called a humiliation fetish). A not insignificant number of feedees feel turned on by being scolded for their laziness, greed, weight and lack of self control – which opposite to how the average person would react just arouses them and increases their desire to gain weight. Some feedees are to consider beautiful according to Western beauty ideals (they’re slim) but feel attracted to the thought of being punished by being fattened and thereby humiliated through their loss of social overdog status.
  9. Being or becoming pregnant. Some feedees fantasize about being pregnant and some even discover that they’re feedees during a pregnancy where they to their surprise enjoy very much to watch their belly grow and don’t want to lose it again. This is related to the thought about inflating and also with the thought about the pregnancy increasing the appetite and therefore becoming an excuse for eating a lot without having to worry about the belly growing bigger.
  10. Being covered with food. Occurs in all extents and degrees. Some just like having crumbs on their lips and others like to have whipped cream, chocolate or custard all over their body.

Are you a feedee? And if yes, what can you do?

If you’ve been nodding to some or many of all these thoughts and fantasies, chance is that you’re a feedee. Judge yourself. If you end up with a yes, please know at first that you’re no weirdo and that you’re far, far from being alone with these thoughts. However, they can mean some inconvenience  to you because you live in a society whose beauty ideals and taboos in an almost religious way go right against what you like and desire. Unless you belong to the category of feedees who get turned on by people’s negative reactions, you need to consider carefully how you want to live out your dreams and if it’s worth it.

  • My advice to you is that you should to some extent live out your thoughts and dreams, because else they’ll lie deeply buried at the bottom of your mind, fermenting and rummaging around. Mentally seen that’s not healthy and can eventually it might lead to a sad, unsatisfying double life or to a life that you find meaningless. It can also lead to your thoughts and fantasies becoming bigger and more extreme, taking up a too much place in your head.
  • Educate yourself some more on the topic. Read more about it on the internet. Visit some of the communities that exist around the internet (e.g.,,, ) and everything else you can find by googling central words related to the topic. Please feel free to write to me, too, through the mailbox. I’ll do my very best to answer your questions.
  • Don’t be ashamed of being who you are! As you can read on this blog, the society in general is the one being wrong here, not you. How open you want to be about your thoughts is up to you. On one hand you don’t have to shout it from the rooftops, but on the other people sometimes need to be shaken because they’re stuck in their firm belief that their way of viewing the world is the only right one.
  • Use your head! Don’t throw yourself headlong into something you don’t know enough about. Think before you choose a partner because it’s a difficult balancing act to create a relationship where you both agree exactly on what wishes you have. Don’t be blind for the fact that having a big body has some natural consequences, ranging from changing the wardrobe, maybe getting a longer seatbelt, larger food expenses, flight seats getting too small, so all in all you can expect to not be able to take active part in all activities, like climbing or amusements that have weight or size limits.

I know someone that I think might be a feedee. What can I do?

Good question! If you know they’re feedees and feel okay about that, you can choose to not do anything at all besides showing your accept of their different view on beauty.

If you think that he/she doesn’t know about the feedee-term at all you can, depending on how well you know him/her, try recommending this site or other similar sites or just tell that they can try googling the word “feedee”. It might lead that person to being a little more at peace with him/herself and to a better understanding of his/her own thoughts and dreams. People with feedee thoughts and fantasies are up against the whole Western World and all of its unobtainable beauty ideals and fat taboos, and therefore they’ll often not feel entirely okay with themselves, although few do.

This was a long text about something that only very few have written about before. I hope It’ll bring both help and happiness and that it’ll shed some light over a not very well covered area of the human landscape of thoughts and desires.

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The First Movie Ever Was of Course …

…a movie about a big beautiful woman and her admirer – and of course it’s in French. A little piece of loving humor that fits very well into this blog. The little caveman in this video definitely knows what he likes and that’s what I often compare myself to in this fat-phobic world. A caveman, born around 10,000 years too late.

The short film here was one of the opening films at the international Annecy animation festical i 2002 and is created by 5 students at the French school of animation and art Gobelins: In-An Rödiger, Simon Pierre Andriveau, Yann Avenati, Hervé Barbereau og Louis Clichy.

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Tumblr – Playground for Pudgy People and Their Admirers

The yahoo-owned Tumblr contains around 188 blogs and practices only little or no censoring. Therefore, Tumblr’s blogs are a very  mixed bag of text-poor but image rich views on the world and quite a few of them contain one or another kind of pornographic material – but far from all of them.

Interestingly enough, it seems that Tumblr like no other internet platform has been able to make fat admirers, feeders, feedees, gainers  and foodees (If you’re not familiar with these terms, I’ll soon post a description here on this blog, but until then you can google them) jump out of their closets, and there is a plethora of blogs there written by and for them. Focus varies a little from blog to blog and span from a romantic admiration of larger bodies and the pleasures of delicious and beautiful foods, to the directly erotic or pornographic, all of them with that in common that the people on the pictures and drawings there are fare more well-fed than average.

I will only link to the blogs that aren’t decidedly pornographic, but if that’s what you want, you’re only a few clicks away, because on these blogs there are links to new blogs that might be less modest than this one.

Below I’ve made a little collection of the blogs I’ve found there. You will probably see nudity but I’ve tried to not link to anything pornographic.


…And I could go on and on… I guess that with every link I’ve posted here, I’ve left out 1-2 others because they to some extent contained pornography or explicit sex scenes, even though maybe just 1 out of 10 pics  were that kind of pictures.  As said, if you want to find that kind of stuff, it’ll be easy for you to find that, too.

The illustration, btw, comes from but is to find on some of the mentioned blogs, too. Therefore the choice fell on a side of the fat-friendly community that maybe isn’t as well represented here on this blog as it should be: The fact that there exist numerous women out there who would like a pudgy man instead of a slim one.

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Round and Healthy?

Depressingly many people think that fat=unhealthy, but that is far from the truth.

Health is about almost anyhting else than your body weight, and what really kills those with some extra weight is not the weight but all the hate, comments, fat shaming and advice from fools and ignorants that they’re every day exposed to.

Read my full article on how you should stop worrying about your weight and start working on getting the best possible life quality here, or find it in the top menu.


Fat Makes us More Social

You might know the old saying “when the manger is empty, the horses fight” – and it seems to be true for humans, too. New research shows that food with a higher fat content decreases aggressivity and increases social behaviour, which maybe isn’t so strange when you reflect on it a little more.

It lies deep in our genes to fight for survival and if there isn’t enough food, we’ll fight to get it. In other words it makes perfect sense to be aggressive when there’s not enough food, because that might make sure that you get some food. Experiments done on pigs (which are like us humans in unsettlingly many ways) show that there’s an clear connection between how little fat there is in the food and how aggressive the piggies are.

It’s always dangerous to generalize from one species to another, but these experiments have been made on other animals too with the exact same results, so it’ll be a pretty good guess that this applies to humans, too. And what does it mean that food with lots of fat makes us more social – and that food with less fat makes us more aggressive and less social?

Well, first and foremost it means that the “happy fatties” might not just be covering over a sad person inside (as many like to believe, because it doesn’t fit well into the fat hating culture to believe that fat people can be perfectly happy). At least not in the cases where their high weight is caused by food with a higher fat content.

And think about how many people are now shying away from this poor nutrient as if it was the source of all evil because of decades of fat hating and fat shaming in the media and in the ads. Think about how many people now make sure that both they and their kids get as little fat as possible. Think about how light products are filling up the shelves in the supermarkets – products whose natural fat content has been exchanged with artificial compounds and additives that have nothing to do with that food product at all.

This might have some interesting consequences in a society where we’re forced to live together still more people in the same place, if a great fraction of its members live on a diet that’s making them less social and more aggressive.

Maybe we’re getting closer to an explanation on why it’s the thin people attacking the fat ones and not the opposite.

More can be read about the experiment here. You might need Google Translate if you’re not familiar Danish.

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How to Gain Weight


Yup, you heard me. Some people actually like to gain weight instead of losing it. Some because they’re underweight and want to fill out a little, others because they love being round and soft.

Read the full guide here or by clicking the “How to gain weight” in the top menu.

My good friend Dr. Feeder has a good guide here.

These two guides are, as far as I know, the most extensive guides on the net on how to gain weight. Correct me if I’m wrong.

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Get Married and Get Fat

Nothing is as fattening as a wedding ring! At least if you’re a woman, it seems like a walk down the aisle is the most fattening exercise there exist – and especially if you end up being happy in your marriage.

A study made in the USA has showed that the happier women are in their marriage, the more and the quicklier they gain – and that of course leads to the question: Why?

And, as it often happens when the talk is about fat, I think that some rather premature conclusions are made. The people behind the study end up claiming that it’s probably because happily married women forget thinking about how they look and just let go of their appearance while focusing on taking care of children and husband – while women that are not as happy in their marriage keep their figure to stay attractive if a man should show up that was a more interesting alternative than the one she’s currently with.

It is, in my humble opinion, a somewhat depressing way to look at things. It’s completely forgotten that we’re all deep inside still cavemen and -women who think that fat is attractive! In other words, MY opinion on this is that the fact that the woman who feels safe in her marriage adds extra curves and softness, is simply her reward to the man for making her safe! Explanation follows:

When we’re talking about body preferences, we have two main instincts or urges that are deeply printed within our genes:

  1. The first is about the man preferring a woman who is well-fed and who will be able to carry and take care of children, and who will be able to survive starvation periods. This simply is a matter of survival and should not need much explanation. The fatter you are, the longer you’ll be able to stay warm and survive food shortage.
  2. The other instinct is  the desire for what’s rare and hard to obtain.  It collaborated with the first one back in the stone age and still does so in many places all over the world – but not here in the western part of the world: When there’s a shortage on food, we’ll want to be fat and prefer fat partners, and when food’s abundant, we’ll want to be thin and prefer thin partners. Nature’s logic behind this is something like “If you’re able to spend many ressources on either having a body that’s impractical (look at e.g. the peacock and its enormous tail), seen from a survival perspective, or gathering useless, pretty junk like shiny things, you must be pretty good at surviving after all, and therefore preferable as a mating partner.”

Our modern beauty ideals are based on the latter instinct, and therefore people have such a hard time living up to them. The two instincts that were meant to collaborate are now directly at war with each other. As long as we’re singles and don’t have partners to lean on, it’s very VERY hard to ignore the socially accepted beauty ideals.

On the other hand, if we enter a relationship and become happy and safe there, I’m convinced that instinct #2 will play a still smaller role, while #1 will have a still stronger influence on you. The less power the socially created beauty ideals have over you, the more the  first and very deep urge  will come into play. A woman feeling safe in her marriage will therefore gradually start turning into the woman a caveman would have worshipped and done everything to keep.

And this is the sad part: It’s not that easy anymore. If the man is too influenced by instinct #2, he will not be able to value what a beautiful thing his wife is doing for him.  Society, too, just sees a woman who gradually loses her grip on the situation, gets fat  and “marriage-boring” and stops caring about how she looks.

So, to summarize: Women who are happily married and safe in their marriages don’t lose control. Quite on the contrary, they feel safe enough to stop pursuing a beauty ideal that’s completely opposite to what their bodies want to do, and in the moment they do so, nature start working its magic. What a terrible pity it is that so few still know how to appreciate its beautiful work.

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Spock and the Weighty Women

So, what’s an alien doing on a fat friendly blog? More than most know, because the actor behind, the newly dead Leonard Nimoy, isn’t just known for having played the vulcan Spock in the Star Trek Movies. He was also a photographer, and one of his bigger and more famous projects carry the name “The Full Body Project”, where he pictured plump, proud women in a long row of B&W photos.

Leonard Nimoy was fully and wholly for gender equality and women rights, and he more than once went so far that when he heard about a female coactor being paid less than himself and his male colleagues, he went directly to the management and demanded it changed. A man reacting like this is hopefully a more common thing to happen here in 2015, but in the ’60s and ’70s where he did it, it wasn’t.

Nimoys engagement in equality influenced his work as an artist, too, where he e.g. in his work “The Full Body Project” depicted generously curved women naked, and often with a very firm, challenging look at the observer that seems to say: “look at me — I’m entitled to stand here and present myself to the world. I don’t have to be ashamed and cower in the corner.” (citation from

In general, it worried Nimoy a lot that the average clothes model weighs around 25% less than the average woman. It means that only a tiny fraction of women in general can buy clothes that, when they wear it, will sit and look like on the model photo. This exposes them for a constant pressure pressure to be uhappy and dissatisfied with themselves.

Nimoy, himself, says that his pictures are a direct response to the pressure every woman in the western world feels to reach and keep a size 2.

The worst thing about this billion dollar industry of the beauty ideals is, Nimoy continues, that the main pillar of it is to tell people that they look wrong.

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